There are so many things that are conveniently easy in the movies but insanely difficult in real life . . . maybe even impossible. Here are nine classic examples . . .
- Swimming long distances underwater. Try this game: When someone goes underwater in a movie, try to hold your breath until they get some air themselves. Chances are you’ll lose.
- Guessing someone’s computer password. It’s always somebody’s daughter’s name, or if there’s a picture of a Maserati on the wall, then it’s “Maserati”.
But is it EVER that easy? And besides, isn’t every site these days making you add numbers and other characters?
- Computer hacking. There always seems to be that guy who can get into the Department of Defense in, like, five seconds. And everybody in movies seems to KNOW that guy.
- Pulling someone up with only one arm. A baby, sure. A toddler, probably. But if most of us had to pull someone up who’s, like, 12 or older . . . with just one arm . . . that someone is going to fall into the volcano.
- Waking up from being knocked out. When you wake up from being knocked out, you’re in pain. SERIOUS pain. But in the movies, they come to and get right back to business.
- Jumping through a glass window. Movie characters usually have a few superficial cuts and scrapes when they go through windows. If any.
YOU, on the other hand, would probably need stitches in several places. You might even need some parts reattached.
- Getting high-paying jobs at an early age. How many sexy twenty-somethings do you know who are Pulitzer Prize-winning journalists or astrophysicists who can save the world from alien attacks?
- Owning an apartment in New York City. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but apartments in New York are kind of expensive.
And it would be WAY too expensive for the struggling artist-type characters who always seem to own them.
- Sex. Nobody ever needs to fiddle with birth control . . . and when it’s over, nobody ever needs to clean up.