When you’re single, the thought of Valentine’s Day makes you sick.  So here are five Valentine’s Day gifts to give to the last person who dumped you:

1.)  BITTERSWEETS. They’re just like those little heart-shaped candies, but instead of saying things like “Kiss Me,” “Love You,” or “Be Mine,” they say things like “Mutual Disgust,” “Booty Too Big,” and “Return My CD’s.”

2.)  “SEX FOR DUMMIES.” Yep, they actually have a book called “Sex For Dummies.”  Send it to that ex you hate, and include a note that says you hope they have more success in their future relationships.

3.)  “LOVE STINKS” SOAP. It’s a big, pink, heart-shaped bar of soap with the words “Love Stinks” carved right into the front of it.  It sends the message that your relationship was awful,  but it also implies that the other person literally STINKS.

4.)  A DOORMAT. Just think of the underlying implication.  It’s the perfect way to say, “You don’t get to treat ME like a doormat anymore.”

5.)  THE BOYFRIEND PILLOW. It’s like a regular pillow, but with an arm sticking out the side that wraps around you.  It’s basically like saying, “I’m glad we’re not sleeping together anymore.  Here’s a memory-foam version of me so you don’t get lonely.”

(Holidash.com)